Category: Mom Advice

Quality Time Makes a Comeback!

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Family Quality TimeSchool is back in session, leaving us longing for the lazy days of summer, yet excited for the potential and possibilities that the school year brings.

As our schedules go from relaxed to overwhelming, it is easy to push aside the quality time you shared with your family over the summer. I admit, I do fall into “the back to school trap.” As parents, we transition into “survival mode” while juggling work, dinner, kids activities, and homework. It feels as if there is no extra time to spend on anything fun. Even play dates have taken a back seat in our family, due to lack of time.

However, our children need and crave that quality time and that down time. In response to my son telling me that he “can only talk to me through my lap top,” I decided to make some serious changes this coming school year in an effort to bring back quality time to my family. Below I’ve listed my school year “Quality Time (QT)“ strategies, should you wish to join my mission to bring “QT” back to your family life.

“QT” Strategies:

Power Down: set a specific time during the after school hours where you turn off your phone and computer so that your full attention is on your children. Let co-workers and friends know you are not available between those hours to return calls or messages. Have your children power down as well.

Leverage Driving Time: Car time can be great quality time. Instead of all but the driver on their devices, bring back a good old game of Eye Spy or 20 questions about your day. Our favorite question is: how were you kind today?

Revive Back Family Game Night: Designate one night a week to play board games with your children.

Move Together: Go for a family walk or bike ride

Break Bread Together: If, like most families, you can’t eat dinner as a family each night due to activities, try to eat a family appetizer (fruit and veggies) before you leave for evening activities or perhaps family dessert upon your return. All you need is fifteen minutes, but the benefits of coming together to communicate as a family will last much longer!

Wishing you and your family a happy and successful school year, filled with lots of love, laughter, and….quality time together.

Yours in Kindness,
The Wear the Cape Team

Let’s Grow Our Mindset!

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Grow our mindsetThere is a popular view among educators in regards to intelligence that students should be pushed to adopt a Growth Mindset. Mindset is the concept that everyone holds a personal “theory” of themselves, as explained by Dr. Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

According to Dweck, there are two mindsets: Fixed and Growth. A Fixed Mindset is one where people feel that their basic qualities, such as talent and intelligence, are “fixed” and, therefore, unable to be improved upon.

One with a Fixed Mindset may say, “I can’t do that because I’m not good at it, or I’m dumb,” causing him/her to give up easily, ignore feedback, avoid challenges, and develop anxiety around fears.

On the other hand, a Growth Mindset allows one to believe that he/she can achieve whatever is desired by building the basic qualities that they have, through hard work and guided assistance.

Developing a Growth Mindset is crucial for both young and old, as it helps a person to embrace challenges, give 100% effort, become inspired by other people’s successes, and learn from feedback.

As educators and parents, it is our responsibility to help mold a positive Growth Mindset in our children and students. Below are some examples of how you can help your children build their Growth Mindset and assist them in creating a positive frame of mind, necessary to become successful and happy.

Below we have listed several Growth Mindset Goals for you to use with your students, children….and even yourself!

Growth Mindset Goals:

  1. Embrace the word “YET”: Dweck encourages all to add the word “yet” to our conversations with children. When you hear them say, “I can’t,” follow up with a “yet”. This allows our brains to understand that, although we cannot do something at this time, with hard work and patience, we very well may master the task at hand.
  2. Accept Mistakes: When one makes a mistake or fails at a task, applaud the effort AND use the event as a teachable moment to gain wisdom on what could have been done differently to be successful. Failure often leads children and adults to give up; teach your child that making mistakes and failures are just bumps on the road to success.
  3. Praise Properly: When you praise your child, do not compliment their ability or talent, but rather their effort, success, and even failure (see #2). Telling your child she is smart or talented in a specific area can limit her desire to challenge herself in another. This has the same effect in the form of negative praise. Stating, “Don’t worry, math is not your thing” or “You can quit gymnastics if you can’t do that cartwheel” have a negative impact on a child’s outlook, shaping a Fixed Mindset and causing them to believe that they do not have to try hard or challenge themselves to succeed.
  4. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Rather than dismiss a task where your child is having difficulty with a passive comment, encourage your child’s Growth Mindset by asking open-ended questions such as, “How can you change what you are doing to make it work better?”
  5. Rephrase your questioning:  Rather than state, “I see you are having trouble with this,” you can say, “I like how you are working diligently to get the correct answer; what else can you do to solve the problem?”

Helping our kids with their phones

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cell phoneThe decision to give your child a cell phone is not an easy one to make. Personal cell phones for children are an important responsibility for both parents and children – one that needs to be taken with utmost care.

In our society today, we have heard too many instances of children misusing their cell phones, many times without realizing the devastating consequences their “cyber behavior” has to other children and their families. As parents, we need to “step up our game” to help guide and support our kids on proper cell phone use.

How do we do this? Thanks to our friends at familiesmanagingmedia.com, we can have some insight as to when our children are ready for their own phone and devices, and how we can help them to be responsible for safely using their technology.

Mary Beth Forte, a supporter of Wear The Cape, recently reached out to us to share a letter that she and her husband wrote to their daughter, which she adapted from a template found on familiesmanagingmedia.com. The letter provides boundaries for cell phone use, including texting, taking and posting of photos, and the use of social media.

The reason for this letter is summed up at the end of the Forte’s first paragraph, “…we love you more than we can say and want to keep you safe!” We urge all parents to create a cell phone and device policy with their children. Please, talk with your child about what he/she is experiencing via text messages and calls. Make sure your child is appropriately using his/her device. . . and ultimately, let them know how much you love them and want to keep them safe.

To see a sample of the Forte’s adaptation of the cell phone rules letter click here.

In Kindness,

The Wear The Cape Team