My Very Own Cape Kid

Ann Ciccarelli and her son, Luke, during Appalachia Help weeks for 2016
Ann Ciccarelli and her son, Luke, during Appalachia Help weeks for 2016

Today, I write from the perspective of a Cape Kid’s Mom.  Just over a year ago, my son, Luke had just returned from a week-long service trip through St. Patrick’s Catholic Church in Chatham to Preston County, West Virginia.  Throughout this service week, he and about 35 other young people and parent chaperones helped the people of Preston County with home repair (most absolutely necessary) as well as support within their community.  When Luke returned, he expressed that he couldn’t wait to go back next year.  I truly saw a different young man come back on July 1, 2015 than the kid that left on June 25, 2015.  I had to know more.

When the time arose for sign-ups for the Appalachia Help weeks for 2016, Luke asked me if I would be willing to chaperone.  Did my 17-year-old son really want to spend a week with Mom?!?!?  I was jumping on this opportunity before he could even finish the question!  I wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into but as the week approached, I was starting to get really excited.  So I took the shopping list and went out and purchased all of my tools, proper clothing, gear, air mattress, etc. Luke had this part down and worried aboutLuke Ciccarelli during Appalachia Help weeks for 2016 it all the day before we left.  I, on the other hand, prepared for weeks.  As June 26, 2016 arrived, I thought..here we go!  After mass at St. Patrick’s, the vans and cars were loaded and off we went on the six-hour ride to Preston County, West Virginia.  As we arrived in the town of Rowlesburg, I instantly noticed the poverty and simple living.  I wondered to myself how these teenagers from Chatham and it’s surrounding areas were going to handle this.  Were they judging?  Scared?  Nervous?

Well let me tell you, this was a life-changing week for me!  Not only was my 46-year old self changed from the stories of the people of Rowlesburg and it’s surrounding towns but what really blew my mind was these youngsters.  I was so incredibly blown away with their passion, excitement, relationships with each other and teamwork, but most importantly THEIR COMPASSION!  Their tolerance, acceptance and LOVE for the people that we helped was nothing short of amazing!  I watched boys and girls working together with adults to make the lives of these amazing people in West Virginia better.

Luke Ciccarelli during Appalachia Help weeks for 2016They worked hard physically (who knew these boys and girls were so handy with saws, hammers, nail guns, sheet rock, roofing, etc…), but the emotional connections that they made with the people at the homes where they “worked” was just incredible.  The friendships they have made with people so completely “different” from them yet so very much the same warms my heart.  As they reflected each night on their days of work, each and every story was just incredible.  There is no question that all of these teens came back different from when they left but after 2 years of my son, Luke really putting it all out there emotionally and physically for others I can honestly say that he not only “wears the cape” but I believe it will be a permanent part of his wardrobe.

This crazy world that we live in these days constantly is rearing it’s ugly head of bullying, racism, inequality, profiling and unfortunately I could go on and on…but the change starts with the young people in this world.  I can only hope that the good work that Luke and his peers are doing will be infectious and this Cape Kid will take his cape and run with it!  I couldn’t be more proud of my very own Cape Kid!

xo  Ann Ciccarelli

October is National Anti-Bullying Prevention Month

October is National Anti-Bullying Prevention Month – a month dedicated to building hope and giving our children the strategies needed to eradicate this concerning epidemic. October is National Anti-Bullying Prevention Month – a month dedicated to building hope and giving our children the strategies needed to eradicate this concerning epidemic.

I created Wear the Cape and the kidkind foundation back in 2012, as a concerned mom of 4 kids and after hearing of several horrific bullying incidents in the news. I dreamed of a kinder, better world for my kids, and decided that I was going to take the first steps in making that world a reality not only for my children, but for all children. We are all about promoting to kids how incredibly cool it is to be kind! We all have the ability to be heroic – as if we are wearing a cape on our backs each day – just by simply being nice and sticking up for the kids who can’t help themselves. That’s how we roll!

Here are the disturbing facts:

  • One in four children are currently being bullied.
  • Every seven seconds a child is bullied on a school playground.
  • 160,000 children do not attend school each day for fear of being bullied. 

No doubt, these statistics are tough to comprehend.  Thankfully, there is hope: According to the ASPCC findings, “When bystanders intervene, bullying stops within 10 seconds at least 57% of the time.”

Where do we go from there?  We at Wear the Cape are here to help guide you. Our teacher team has created lesson plans for you to use in your classrooms, at home, at church, and/or with your Girl and Boy scout troops. They are complete plans, which include Bloom’s Taxonomy practices, that can be cut and pasted directly into your weekly lesson plans. They are adjustable to meet your needs – do all in one day, over the course of the week, or month.   This week’s lesson, geared toward grades K-3 is included: http://www.wearthecapekids.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/CapeLesson.pdf and be sure to check out the supporting materials on the site that you can cut out and use in the classroom.

We are also thrilled to announce that our team has created a school assembly that we will be offering to schools in early January, 2016.  Our multi-media assembly includes interactive features; an amazing multi-media video that features our Cape Kids in action; and follow-up activities for both teachers and parents.  Our final edits are under construction. Your school will not want to miss this presentation! We promise it will not disappoint. *

We need to teach our children and each other the strategies needed to step in, to Wear your Cape, and be “Better Than That.”  Together we can do this. Together we can end bullying!

Thanks for helping us spread the word!

* For further information from Wear the Cape and kidkind foundation or to book an assembly, please email us at www.wearthecapekids.com

Choose kind,

Leigh Ann

5 Tips to Avoid Overbooking Your Kids and Create Life Balance

Overbooked kids and parents can miss some of the best parts of being in a family. For parents far and wide, Wear the Cape’s resident expert on character education Philip Brown, PhD has compiled “5 Tips to Avoid Overbooking Your Kids and Create Life Balance”. The list was created to help parents balance the responsibilities of providing economic security and meeting the needs of all family members for emotional support and personal fulfillment.

“Finding balance is not an easy task in a society of great abundance,” said Dr. Brown, who is a senior consultant at the National School Climate Center. “Our interests and our desire to give our children every opportunity to succeed can inadvertently pull us into adding an ever increasing number of activities, dates, plans and obligations.”

Dr. Brown added, “Saying ‘no’ when demands become more than we can handle, or to children who may feel that they are supposed to be involved with everything their friends are doing to keep up, is not easy, and can be particularly difficult if our sense of self, who we want to believe we are or should be, seems dependent on saying ‘yes’ and doing it all.”

 5 Tips to Avoid Overbooking Your Kids and Find Life Balance

  1.  Let your kids know that you care about them for who they are, not just what they can do. Children need to know that your love is not contingent on their achievements.
  2. Remember that children do not have the same sense of time that you do. Part of growing up is being able to put things in perspective. There will likely be another friend, another team, another trip if this one does not work out.
  3. Working hard at something you love to do is one of the best parts of life. It takes some of us a lot of experimenting to find those things we love. Kids need that free time to try new things, as well as the permission to give them up and try something else.
  4. Some kids organize their time and find their interests with just a little exposure; other kids may need a bit of a push to try things that don’t seem attractive or interesting (or may be threatening). The trick here is to be sensitive to individual needs and persistent in offering opportunities. If you need to be pushy, try to offer alternatives, so kids have a voice in what they will be doing. For example, some children thrive in competitive sports, and others may find their niche in hiking or dancing.
  5. Remember to include exposure to helping others in your family activities. One of the best ways of developing empathy in our children (and ourselves) is to feel the gratitude that is expressed when we help others. This doesn’t happen if we don’t have the opportunity of interacting with others in need or whom we help. This can happen within the context of the family itself, as well, and doesn’t necessarily require a formal charity event. Create opportunities in which children can feel that they have meaningfully helped other family members or the whole family accomplish something. The combination of caring, responsibility, feeling respected, and gratitude is a powerful stew that nourishes the soul.

“When we’re overprogrammed and feel we can’t keep up, or are constantly running on empty, stress can lead to anxiety, depression and take a toll on our minds and bodies,” commented Dr. Brown. “For children, this can surface in many ways – trouble sleeping, frequent irritability, aggressiveness with siblings, trouble in school, moodiness or frequent illness are all common signs that something is not right and needs to be explored.”

To raise children of good character, a combination of guidance, freedom, and support in the context of shared values should be provided. Most 21st century parents in America experience tension between their roles as providers, parents and having adult lives, a phenomenon that is widespread and not limited to one class or location. Reflection may be valuable, even if parents are not sure if they are overbooking.

“For most parents, laying the groundwork for their children’s happiness and fulfillment is a top priority,” said Leigh Ann Errico, CEO and founder of Wear the Cape and the kidkind foundation. “But it’s important that families step back and assess the hours being devoted to various activities on the never-ending list of possibilities. Downtime can be time well-spent.”

5 Tips - overbooking