Around the beginning of the school year, I had asked my son what his goal was for the year ahead. I was heartbroken by his answer. I had expected to hear that he wanted to get good grades, but what I heard was a knife to my chest.
“This year my goal is to be the coolest kid in the third grade.”
Yes, you read that right. My son’s goal was to be accepted by the “cool” kids, a.k.a. the popular crowd. My son had been friends with the “cool kids” in Kindergarten and first grade. He had no trouble making or keeping friends. Then, one day, half-way through second grade, one of the group’s leaders decided that Timmy was not “cool.” He was then bullied for the rest of the school year.
From that day forward Timmy was excluded. He was no longer invited to play dates, was left out at recess, and wasn’t invited to birthday parties. My heart ached for my young son, as I watched him struggle with this every day
I tried to console Timmy. I planned play dates with other children and encouraged other friendships. I spoke to his teachers and guidance counselor, who tried to help. However, Timmy still struggled. He missed his friends. Daily, he watched them play at recess, from the sidelines. He could not comprehend what he had done to be shunned by his classmates and blamed himself.
Of course, I blamed myself. I wasn’t a “cool” mom. I didn’t have “cool” play dates or parties. I didn’t hang with the “cool” moms or carpool the “cool” kids. Suddenly I felt as ostracized as my child.
Out of options and patience, I turned to the Internet for comfort and help. It was then that I learned of Wear the Cape. As I perused the organization’s website, a warm feeling of compassion and hope swept over me.
After months of watching my son struggle, the answer was right there within one of Wear the Cape’s taglines: IT’S COOL TO BE KIND. Immediately I knew I needed to redefine “cool” to my child….and his friends.
“Wear The Cape,” be “Better Than That,” and “It’s Cool to be Kind” became everyday phrases in our home. From the inspiration of Wear the Cape, my children and I had a new goal – to spread kindness. We practiced random acts of kindness every day. This cost us little, but in doing this we gained so much! We saw how our deeds impacted others in a positive way.
We were uplifted by the reaction others had to our kindness. Every smile, every thank you, and every, “that made my day” made our days brighter. My son was no longer plagued by his situation. Rather, he made other friends and soon his old friends and new friends were all playing well together. There was no longer an “us” or “them;” it was simply kids having fun at recess.
Three years have passed since my son’s ordeal. Timmy, who now prefers to be called Tim, is in middle school and has many friends. When I asked him if he wanted to be the “coolest” kid in middle school, his reply was heartwarming. With a knowing smile, he replied:
“Well, it’s cool to be kind. So…yeah. I want to be cool!”
Thank you, Wear the Cape!
Timmy’s Mom
