I knew a lady from the Caribbean who said (in her beautiful accent), “Manners carry us through life.” The quote really stuck with me – almost as if manners are the vessel that can make our journey more graceful each day.
I tend to be a real stickler for manners with my kids, because using good manners is a way of showing respect to everyone around us. I see so many adults who grew up and seem to have missed the proverbial boat on manners and common courtesies (I guess I have developed some kind of fear that my kids will become super rude and therefore contribute to the erosion of grace in our society). So many of you wrote to us when we launched Wear the Cape one month ago and cited the importance of manners as part of our mission, observing that this value seems to have fallen by the wayside.
I think parents need to remember that it is our job to be a constant force here. We need to demonstrate and showcase our own top-notch manners.
I toe the line with my crew of four, so much so that my older brothers often make fun of me saying I’m a bit over-the-top (I admit; I’m relentless in this regard). About a year ago, I started unofficially researching other parents who seem to be great role models for me to aspire towards in terms of how they keep their kids on track in the manners department. Here is the Top 10 list of what I’ve learned (I know you’ve gotta love lists and bullets as much as I do, so here goes):
Top 10 Manners for “Wear the Cape” Kids
1) Say “please” and “thank you”…THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE.
2) Give a proper handshake when greeting people, especially adults.
3) Show gratitude, particularly when receiving a gift. Follow-up Thank You notes are preferred and can be facilitated by parents when kids are too young to write one on their own. Drawing a Thank You picture is also a great little craft project to keep in mind while teaching the value of gratitude. But remember: showing gratitude is an ongoing, everyday act.
4) Hold the door open for others whenever the opportunity presents itself, and say “thank you” when the door is held for you.
5) If you cannot say something nice about someone or something, do not say anything at all.
6) When you sneeze, do so into your bent elbow (you know…the new way!).
7) At the table, chew quietly, use utensils and put the napkin on your lap.
8) Don’t interrupt, but if you must, say “excuse me.”
9) When departing from a place where you were hosted, such as a birthday party, thank the host/parents for having you.
10) Offer to share your things (toys, supplies, etc.) whenever you have the chance.
Tell us: Do you have a value or key manner that you try to instill in your kids? We would love to hear about it.