Play-Doh’s slogan: “Imagination taking shape”
Our (very unofficial) slogan: “Character taking shape” – we’re molding “Cape Kids” here, people!
As we’ve just left the starting line of 2014 and school semesters have yet to unfold, now is the perfect time to check in with your kids on…well – life.
I recently gave the executives for whom I provide leadership coaching advice on how to consider making and accomplishing their 2014 New Year’s resolutions (unfortunately for many of us, these goals start AND end as ideas). But adults aren’t the only ones who can greatly benefit from stopping to reflect and recalibrate.
No matter the heart of their ambition – improving grades, meeting more friends, growing spiritually, earning a spot on a sports team, getting involved in the community via Scouts or other volunteer work, etc – kids will have a much higher chance of self-fulfillment if they realize where they are, where they want to go, and how to get there.
Adapted from my executive coaching for equally important “Cape Kid” coaching, below are tips that can help you guide your kids to set targets and hit them.
How to Help Your “Cape Kids” Establish and Reach Goals in 2014
1. Ask your child, “What would make you happier?” It might be having a leadership position in a club at school, making new friends, being proud of his or her report card, or learning to play an instrument. Having your child explore his or her feelings will quickly reveal potential goals. Note: Avoid the abstract (e.g., “Have more fun on the soccer field”) – this is hard to track and, therefore, difficult to meet.
2. After his or her sights are set, pose the question: “What could you do to bring yourself closer to reaching your goal?” Allow us to suggest that you give the child a few minutes to think this through and don’t immediately make suggestions; instead, “hold the silence.” Once ideas have been put on the table, offer your thoughts to ensure the steps are specific, measurable and realistic (e.g., practice my lines for the school play for half an hour every night starting two weeks in advance, invite someone new for a playdate once a month, register for lacrosse in the spring and buy a stick to practice).
Encourage your kids to start small. Making an overly-ambitious goal and plan will likely result in the child abandoning ship, leaving them feeling defeated. Tell him or her not to overestimate what can be accomplished in a short time or underestimate what can be achieved over a long stretch. Consistent baby steps during a reasonable time period are the key to hitting those high marks.
3. Put it in ink. To remember and have a reference point during the year, assist Jack or Jill with writing or typing his or her goal(s). Place the goals in a visible place where they will be seen often (on the fridge, above the home desk, on the bathroom mirror) as a regular reminder to stay focused. I find kids love to write about things that they can post and proudly share with those that they love. Perhaps spice up the document with artwork? Have the child illustrate and draw a fun picture that represents the vision for the goal.
4. Sweeten the Pot. Whatever the goal may be, track progress by putting marbles, stickers or another small reward in a jar for each child when identified steps are taken. Once there are a certain amount of items earned, the family can celebrate together – go out for a sweet treat, see the latest movie in theaters (Disney’s Frozen is awesome!) or buy a new book at the bookstore. If you have more than one child, they could serve as accountability partners for one another, encouraging each other to take steps toward their end goals, adding trackers to the jar along the way.
5. Lookin’ in the Rear-View Mirror. We also recommend that your “Cape Kids” look back at the end of every month or quarter on what worked well and what did not in terms of making progress. Teaching kids the value of regular reflection through activities like journaling paves the way for self-improvement and lays the foundation for self-awareness. You can pick up inexpensive journals that are unique and colorful at stores like TJ Maxx and Walmart. The journal and even a neat pen could reflect the child’s interests or favorite character to make the task more fun.
So don’t let the start of another year pass you by! We can help mold “Cape Kids” that will find success in their lives and make our communities better places to live.
What have you found to be effective for helping your kids achieve goals and dreams? We want to hear from you!
