Actions Speak Louder than Words, but Words Wield Power

Oliver B. is a fifth grade teacher at a public elementary school in Austin, Texas.
Oliver B. is a fifth grade teacher at a public elementary school in Austin, Texas.

It’s been said that words are empty sounds. The old nursery rhyme even exclaims that sticks and stones may break bones, but words are harmless. Working with elementary school-age kids, however, has taught me that words can be harmful – or even deadly depending on the situation – or they can be helpful. Actions do speak louder than words, but words wield power.

The diversity and culture at my school was the reason I selected it as the launch pad for my quest to save public education. I suppose I was hired because I was a young, energetic male – a white whale in today’s elementary schools, some might say. Although I substitute taught for four years while weighing whether to pursue and then completing my Master of Education (M.Ed.), it soon became evident that the job would require more than I ever imagined, despite the ample resources available (a positive behavior plan, social emotional learning and an anti-bullying program). My first year at, what was by all accounts a great school, exposed me to the harsh reality of bullying in the Millennial generation. In my day, bullying happened at school or on the playground. Now, it happens nearly every hour of the day and most often via social media.

I teach fifth grade. It’s a critical juncture when children attempt to define themselves through their words, actions and, of course, their social media presence. The last stop in elementary school is the gateway to adolescence, and this time of transition doesn’t come without pain points.

During my first year teaching, one of my students had a history of bullying – and, unfortunately, his mother had a history of displaying similar behavior toward the school. One day, a student came to me in rage-filled tears. The aforementioned bully had repeatedly accosted this new victim with taunts of, “You will never be awesome like me, so you should just kill yourself….You look so dumb with your freckles….You know why your dad died in Iraq? It was because he was a wimp.” It was heartbreaking and infuriating at the same time.

To stand up to a bully requires courage. The victim had been taught to use words to shut the bully down, but sometimes tears came instead of words, and that’s when he turned to me for help. I launched into action and placed my hand on the bully’s shoulder. “This needs to stop!” I demanded. I had his attention and again repeated my message that his bad behavior had to end and had to end immediately. I informed the school principal and his mother about the incident, and – believe it or not – his mom actually thanked me for doing the right thing. A noticeable change in the bully’s behavior was evident from that day forward.

As an ongoing mission, I aim to create a positive and inclusive classroom, which includes building a culture of character. Think, “Life can be tough, but so are you.” We all share our humanity while appreciating our differences; embracing different points of view and beliefs is foundational for an effective class culture. Every year, I start with typical team-building activities and explanations of expectations, just like other classes. The unique thing that happens in my class is that the students learn that love and friendship come with actions, not just words – and my students see that by watching me.

I also candidly share that I’ve played the role of the victim and the perpetrator (regretfully) of bullying at different points during my childhood. This helps them to see me as human like them, and they no longer feel pigeonholed into either category. I want them to realize that they can transcend their current circumstances. Also, I strongly believe that creating a sense of identification with students is key to being a leader of the classroom, not just a manager.

At a training about creating inclusive and safe schools, I was asked to choose from a variety of quotes and embrace one as a teacher in the classroom. Instead, I decided to create my own, a quote that my class could use to strengthen our dedication to action (which includes harnessing the power of words). I drew my inspiration from a wise man by the name of Yogi Berra; here’s what I crafted: “If nobody helps anybody, nobody helps anybody. So, be that buddy!” Now, we recognize our mission in my classroom with a simple hashtag not meant for Twitter, but for our hearts: #BeThatBuddy. This hashtag empowers us to wear the cape with courage and pride.

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