A charitable & foundational partnerships to ensure that portions of proceeds and/or profits are channeled to organizations dedicated to building better lives for underprivileged kids.
Wishing you the joy of family, the happiness of friends, and the wonder of the season. May the spirit of the holidays be with you throughout the new year.
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the many friends who have helped Wear the Cape and the kidkind foundation get off to an exciting start this year, reaching kids across the country with encouragement and education on the power of kindness and good character. Both the Cape and the foundation focus on helping kids understand what good character looks like in everyday life and on giving them the confidence to do what’s right, not what’s easy.
The Wear the Cape team is beyond excited about the foundation’s first major project, which is already underway. Our goal is to touch as many kids as possible and truly move the needle on the youngest generation’s attitudes, behavior and outlook on the world. From consulting with experts, teachers and parents, it’s clear that children are very impressionable in the early elementary years. Based on our discussions, we set our sights on publishing a children’s picture book that will paint an easily-understandable picture of good character and communicate that choosing to not bully, even when in a relative position of power (e.g., a student in class who is more athletic, smarter or more popular than others), is more honorable and respectable than being unkind.
The book is being written in a powerful way that we hope will stay with children throughout their lives (I, to this day, remember books that I read as a kid, don’t you?). The next steps are editing, illustration and publishing. The plan is to produce thousands of copies and donate them to Kindergarten through 2nd grade classrooms across the country, particularly in underprivileged areas.
On behalf of the thousands of young children who, in the new year, will receive a free book that could greatly impact their lives, I thank you for your generosity in helping to bring the gift of greater knowledge to kids. Helping our youth understand the powerful values that shape one’s life every day will make their futures even brighter and our communities better places to live.
Separately, the kidkind foundation will also be creating a scholarship program, and we are holding focus groups to identify more ways to make a big impact with your generous donation. Ideas are welcomed.
Thanks, again, for your kindness. It’s so uplifting to see others join the movement and lend their support to this important cause.
All the best to you and yours,
Leigh Ann and the Wear the Cape for all kidkind Team
As we are in the thick of the holidays, I got to thinking and casually polling about how we might be able to keep the true meaning and spirit of Christmas top of mind with our children, rather than solely focusing on all that is in Santa’s sleigh. As we parents know, that is not an easy accomplishment these days.
So what is a parent to do? We want to raise kids who are not entitled but, rather, grateful. We want to bring up kids who have a kind heart and giving spirit focused on helping and serving others.
At my two oldest children’s year-end holiday concert, the music teacher introduced the songs and the children singing them by talking about the meaning of the season. It was pointed out that music is one way to show and share love with other people, especially those with a tired spirit and a lot less skip in their steps…those less fortunate.
In the spirit of the old faithful Top 10 list, here are some things to ponder and to consider doing with your children during this special time of year to show and share some love – because let’s face it: In the end, love is a pretty darn important thing in our lives. It creates so much security and confidence in our children when they feel loved…when they get to make happy memories with us.
1) Discuss who you may know is having a particularly difficult or lonely year, and invite that person to join in on your holiday plans for dinner and some good cheer – chances are you know someone who fits this description.
2) If you celebrate Christmas, remember: It is the day that Christ was born. Some moms that I polled had the neat idea to have a birthday cake for Jesus to be sure he is not forgotten in the midst of the holiday frenzy.
3) Go caroling at an assisted living facility or volunteer some time there to bring the residents a picture your kids drew or just to sit and talk.
4) Go around the table with children during a meal and ask them to reflect on what they are most grateful for this year (that money cannot buy).
5) If the materialism and the wallet pounding has you blue, I have a friend who gives each of her children three gifts for Christmas, one representing each of the Three Wise Men/Kings from the Bible. How’s that for a win-win?
6) Discuss with your children one resolution they will make for how they will help another person or group of people in the new year (e.g, volunteer, help an elderly neighbor with his/her house chores, bake or cook for a family in need, etc).
7) Work hard to maintain the traditions from your childhood that were really happy, fun and filled your heart with joy. Children love to hear stories of their parents’ childhoods. Share some of your best memories of Christmas as a child, and try to replicate some of the familiar magic, recipes, places or activities whenever possible.
For me, I recall that the gifts we baked for our teachers were a pretty big deal growing up, as was the chance to go out to dinner on Christmas Eve to a “fancy” place in good ‘ole Mendham, NJ that we otherwise could not afford. We appreciated every moment of that decadent dinner and then prayed that our old and very “beaten up” Oldsmobile station wagon with wood paneling on the side would make it up our snowy driveway on the way home. If I close my eyes, I can go right back to those joy-filled moments with the Beach Boys Christmas album cranked up on the AM radio….they filled my heart up with so much love. I think the most magical part was that my mom and dad worked so hard to afford that dinner for our family. They were smart enough to teach us how fortunate we were to be going there and the importance of hard work to earn nice experiences to share with your family.
8) Plan to have no plans – and be home with your kids, nesting, cooking, telling stories, reading books and watching special movies with meaning. We parents move at warp speed trying to provide for our children. While that is awesome, I imagine our kids would never turn down extra quality time and quiet time with us. That takes being intentional, just as we would plan any other meeting (this is one where I struggle; I am a psychotic multi-tasker, but working hard on my own reform).
9) Treasure your treasures. Take the time to share the meaning of your heirloom decorations by telling your children stories about them. Ask for their help in carefully packing up the treasures until next year, emphasizing the value of these special family treasures.
For me, this year at my annual holiday lunch with my mom (one of our well-protected holiday traditions), she passed down the tree-topper angel to me. She wanted me to have it, as there is a lot of meaning and memory in that particular ornament for me. When my mom gave it to me, I started to cry. It made me realize that I could do a way better job reviewing all of the ornaments with my own children, as opposed to things being such a “free for all” when we decorate. I will do better in this regard next year.
10)Whatever we may have wished we had experienced as a kid but, for whatever reason, didn’t have the chance, now is our opportunity to make it happen for our children. Think through what new traditions your kids would cherish and try to make them a reality.
I know a couple that, every year, crafts an individual letter for each child to open on Christmas morning. The letter describes some of the highlights of the child’s year – the fun memories, the nicknames, the favorite songs and things to do. The letters are saved in a special box and stored away year over year. The children love reading their letters or having them read to them, depending on their ages. It has nothing to do with material things and everything to do with experiences. It becomes a keepsake to store in the box and in their hearts forever.
I’m dreaming of love and authenticity for my family this holiday season.
What are you dreaming of? How do you create happy and meaningful holiday memories for your family?
While Wear the Cape strives to focus on the positive, the kind and the good, it’s also important that we share information uncovered during this journey that will help parents as they guide their children on the path to good character. Some topics may not be “feel-good” in nature, but they, nonetheless, are very important – which brings us to what we’d like to shed light on today: sextortion.
Last year a 15-year-old girl named Amanda Todd uploaded a YouTube video revealing (through note cards) her story of personal pain and struggle. It was sextortion – a version of cyberbullying that involves blackmailing others to send explicit photos of themselves – that ultimately led to her tragic, untimely death just weeks later.
Apparently Amanda was pressured into revealing herself sexually over webcam and then blackmailed via social media. A picture of her chest made its way throughout her school and the town in which she lived. “I can never get that photo back” was on loop in Amanda’s mind. Her mistake spiraled out of control into a harrowing experience that led to severe anxiety and depression, as well as subsequent drug and alcohol abuse. Amanda was beaten up by a gang at her Canadian school, and she attempted suicide by drinking bleach, feeling like she had no choice other than to take her own life.
Thousands and thousands of people have now seen Amanda’s video; her mother Carol Todd wants it to be used to help other victimized teens. She told the Vancouver Sun, “I think the video should be shared and used as an anti-bullying tool. That is what my daughter would have wanted.”
SO WHAT CAN WE DO IN LIGHT OF AMANDA’S LEGACY?
Parents: Please listen. These incidents are very real and on the rise, according to the FBI. A child giving into peer pressure to reveal oneself explicitly over text message, in a chat room or by email, for example, can have tragic consequences – and we, as parents, need to talk to our kids to help prevent it. We are by no means claiming to be the experts here, so consult with professional counselors or law enforcement officials as appropriate, but please review the information below. We hope you find it useful.
Sexting and Sextortion: Overview and Tips (source: see ConnectSafely)
Sexting as Sexual Harassment. When someone uses pressure or coercion to obtain nude or sexually explicit photos from another person, it’s usually considered a form of sexual harassment. There are even laws against it in many jurisdictions. Young people need to see the pressure for what it is – inherently disrespectful and abusive. They need to understand that they owe themselves the self-respect that prevents this victimization. We as parents need to help with this education by having conversations with our children and remaining vigilant.
Be Aware of Sextortion. Sextortion generally refers to the crime of extortion involving sex-related digital photos. Extortionists may victimize their prey by demanding money, property, sex, or some other “service” and threatening to harm him or her if the demand isn’t met. When digital photos are involved, the threat is often extreme embarrassment and shame through exposure or distribution of the photos.
Understand Snapchat and Be Cautious. “Snapshot” is a mobile app that lets users share images or videos that disappear after a few seconds. Sounds harmless, right? Not so. Screenshots can actually capture and save the images FOREVER. So here we go: All roads lead back to a record that follows the child for the rest of his or her life. Tell your kids to avoid long-term damage and ill consequences by never sending any photos that they would be embarrassed for anyone to see at any time.
Advice. Parents, here’s how you can help:
1) Sit down and have a face-to-face conversation with your kids about all the harm digital forums can cause if one is not extremely cautious and strong in the face of pressure.It is also crucial to remind our children that what may seem playful or like an innocent joke today could remain with them for the rest of their lives. Say, “Do not let anyone make you do something that in your gut feels wrong or dangerous or fills you up with guilt or anxiety – and don’t be the person doling out the pressure!”
There is nothing more important or effective than letting your children know – often and in various ways – that you are there for them, no matter what. Explain that if bad things happen and they level with you, you will respectfully help them work through it, involving them every step of the way. With loving communication, there is very little that can’t be addressed as a team.
2) Tune in. Know what your child is doing. Monitor his or her activities and whereabouts. In our recent cyberbullying blog, we suggested that you a) have all of your children’s passwords to email and social media sites, b) never allow communications devices to be kept in your child’s room overnight and c) check frequently for content and acceptability.
Keep in mind that young people are often reluctant to tell even trusted adults about sexting or sextortion for any number of reasons; the primary one is fear and confusion about possible outcomes. By reporting a peer, they often feel that they could make their situation much worse.
The more time we spend with our kids, the better chance we have of being looped in on their challenges. Every conversation is an opportunity to share important guidance on becoming men and women of character.
Technology can bring great convenience, but be aware of risks in the equation. Let’s keep our kids safe and on positive paths.
